"Every time I get up here, I don't know what I'm going to say next," announces Justin Bieber to a room full of journalists, who've gathered in London to hear his latest album, Changes. "That's the fun."
Fun? Maybe. It's certainly unusual.
Here's one of the planet's biggest pop stars, playing new music off a laptop and delivering a rambling, unscripted monologue before every song. Well, almost every song...
"Maybe we should skip this one?" he says as his DJ cues up Intentions, a bouncy duet with Quavo that came out last week.
"Everybody's heard it already. They can go home and freakin' Google it."
It's not that Bieber dislikes the song. In fact, he seems pretty pleased with his fifth album as a whole. It's just that the set-up is uncomfortably awkward for everyone involved.
Bieber is situated in a DJ booth in the centre of a tiny club in central London. Fans, influencers, reviewers and record label staff surround him on every side; and he hasn't quite figured out what to do with himself while the songs play.
Should he close his eyes and sing along? Should he dance? Should he study critics' faces to gauge their reactions? Should he lock eyes with people and serenade them? Should he impersonate Borat?
The answer is, apparently, "Yes, all of the above".
It doesn't get any less weird between the songs.
Bieber, who's in a playful mood, discusses the fertility problems of a senior executive at Island Records, encourages the audience to "step into faith", offers a prayer for anyone who's single, and tries to FaceTime his wife.
Sadly, though, Hailey Baldwin doesn't pick up.
"She's in bed and she's not answering," he sighs. "And she'd probably be pretty annoyed to be put on the spot like that… But I miss her."
'I'm a nightmare'
Anyone who's watched Bieber's recent documentary series, Seasons, will know that Baldwin is the heart and soul of his new album.
The couple got married in September 2018 after a 12-week relationship - built on more than 10 years of friendship - and Bieber credits Baldwin with helping him find balance, after a "dark period" during which he spiralled into anxiety and depression.
"I think she's the only one that can put up with me, for real," says the 25-year-old in Seasons. "This girl forgives me left and right. I'm a damn nightmare."
His friend Ryan Good goes on to call Baldwin "an inspirational force in [Bieber's] life".
"It gives more depth to his performances when she's in the studio," he says. "Why do they work so well? I think she's got a lot of patience."
On Changes, Bieber spends 17 tracks expressing his unconditional love, even when it makes him sound exhausting to live with.
"I get frustrated when you're busy," he sings on Available. "Feeling less than a priority."
On ETA he's staring "out the window," waiting for Baldwin's car to drive up the street. On Come Around Me, he pleads with her to greet him "like you missed me - even though you've been with me."
"The thought of being with my wife forever gives me chills," he tells the audience in London. "This album is obviously dedicated to her and my love towards her." (It's no coincidence the record is being released on Valentine's Day).